Alamo Drafthouse, Austin, TX
In preparation for his latest film, cinematic auteur Quentin Tarantino is now simply arming entire movies audiences in lieu of any actual plot, special effects, or actors.
"I wanted realism, and fuck, we're going to get it", said the 53 year old American director. "Just guns. Everywhere. And no knives, either. You don't get that great splashing blood-squish sound effect with a knife."
Bearing gifts of berrettas, dessert eagles, colt six-shooters, magnums, fucking shotguns, and even tiny secret derringers, Tarantino sits ready to once again re-invent the genre of film, with his verisimilitudinous fantasy, anachronistic soundtrack, non-chronologic editing, re-appropriated cultural references, and total holocaust of a body count that fans have come to expect from the celluloid wunderkid.
"We trust Quentin implicitly", says producer Lawrence Bender. "We've had Quentin's back and given him a home to produce his splendid films which both reinforce clichés while subverting them, ever since Reservoir Dogs, and through all his work which have only increased in maturity – and super-gross physical brutality – up to and including his current project. We have full faith in his ability to keep getting us near-Oscar worthy movies."
Bringing along Samuel L. Jackson because he's, "my good luck charm", Tarantino sits ready to visit each major movie theater and film making class in every major metropolitan area in all the 50 states, on a traveling road tour for the new project called Q'NRA, short for "Quentin's National Rifle Association". Each stop is approximately 6 hours long, with a 15 minute intermission at the halfway point. Staring only the director. You will speak when spoken to.
And at nearly 60, the director shows no sign of slowing down, speaking openly of several new projects coming in the future.
"I'm doing a hentai revenge biopic about Godzilla, for one thing. And I'm also in talks with Ennio Morricone, in my basement, about getting to work on the soundtrack I'll need for my remake of 'The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly'. It's a modern update. The Man with No Name says, 'Nigger' a lot. Like, a bunch. Hopefully I'll be able to get Michael Madsen to play the part."
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