Geneva, Switzerland
An international team of scientist have announced a major breakthrough in the Many Worlds Theory of quantum mechanics. After having discovered a new dimension which every building is a standing Cinnabun franchise, modern science is declared victorious and complete.
"This is a great boon to mankind" quotes suspiciously newly obese physicist Dr. Michio Kaku. "After many decades and even more dreams – since the dawn of man, one might say – we have finally discovered a land made entirely of free delicious baked goods."
"It's like El Dorado, but with frosting", says the scientist.
The discovery has come at the perfect time. The CERN particle accelerator was under threat of losing it's government funding, since it was discovered that, contrary to the hope of engineers, the Higgs-Boson particle was not actually a type of edible sprinkle.
"That was a real kick in the pants" says astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson: "We were hoping to add it to our Mobius-Strip String Theory Infinite Donut, but that fell through, too.
"But now, everyone's got their motivation back. It just goes to show you: if you stick to the scientific method, it will reveal the poetry of the stars and the rhythm of the cosmos. And lead you to magic lands where even the streetlights and stray dogs are made of edible cinnamon flavored strudels and it rains white frosting in lightning stricken monsoons 24 hours a day, everyday.
"I can finally retire from science".
Certain voices of disagreement have appeared however from other corners of the space-science world. Most notable of which is world famous seat-stricken scientist Stephen Hawking.
"This discovery will be the death of us all", claims Mr. Hawking's robotic spokesman.
"Beyond just the possible collapse of the chocolate wave function, there's the further concern of the fact that this may make our species susceptible to other intergalactic civilizations looking to pilfer our new found boon. We may simply have never heard from our planetary neighbors only because we had nothing they wanted."
Luckily, being a nerd who can't even walk right, no one is listening to him.
Many people are wondering what's next for science now that this great peak has been reached. Where will we go? Where will the indefatigable human spirit of look to now for its next discoveries?
"Who cares?" claims Tyson. "There's nothing left I want to do. Personally, I don't expect to live much longer," he said, beginning to feel the effects of his anesthesia for his third liposuction procedure that day.
"What could heaven have that could possibly compare?"
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