Norwegian Shooter
http://www.denverpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/20120420__20120421_A21_ND21NORWAYp1.jpg?w=600
With a double lucky 77 kills, Norway decided this killer was too sexy to execute, or sexecute, as it's known in the ancient Norse language of the Vikings. Auf wiederFine, amirite?
Batman Shooter
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b6/James_Holmes%2C_cropped.jpg
In his prision jumpsuit, he looks just like a sexy Cheeto. James Holmes will no doubt be played by George Clooney, Idris Elba, or a giant walking pile of solid gold in the inevitable "True Events" meta-movie about violence in movies in violence in movies in violence DURING movies no doubt currently in pre-production.
Norse Goddess Dis
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5d/The_Dises_by_Hardy.jpg
The Norse comes in again on our vapid fucking list with The Dis, the singular name for the group of females goddesses the Disir, who were in charge of fertility, had bloody pagan sacrifice rituals held in their name, and probably looking fine as hell while they summonded the spirits of dead women.
Chicago Murder Hotel
Reaching back to olden times, we have the debonair butcher with the killer crash pad, H. H. Holmes, owner of the Chicago Murder castle. Singlehandedly responsible for between 27 to 200 murders, this handlebar moustachioed assassin has a handle on our heart.
Columbine
From an oldest of times to the freshest of faces, these cuties did a double team on America, and ran an Eiffel Tower on our country's innocence.
Goddess Dis
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/73/Eris_Antikensammlung_Berlin_F1775.jpg
Known as Dis in Latin, originally Eris in Ancient Greek, this brown haired beauty is the source of all discord, chaos, and argument in the human race. Or maybe she isn't. What's it to you? You're not the boss of me.
John Wayne Gacy
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/11/Johnwaynegacypogo.jpg
Fuck this. I can't make this funny. I fucking hate clowns.
Jeffrey Dahmer
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0c/Jeffrey_Dahmer_Milwaukee_Police_1991_mugshot.jpg
This delicious killer is a scrumptuous example of Midwestern taste, making a delectable plate or a sexy side dish for our hungry eyes.
He killed people and ate their bodies.
City of Dis
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/87/Stradano_Inferno_Map_Lower.jpg
The Kingdom of the Fallen One. The End of All Hope. Furthest from the eye of God. The dwelling of all demons and sinners. The Final Catwalk. Sexiest headquarters of your nightmares, this final resting place of the Progenitor of Lies, it's the perfect place for your Italian getaway into a living analogy for your current times of moral disgust and social entropy, the inevitable conclusion of which none of us will ever escape, as we're all slowly consumed by the triple-headed beast of pure destruction and eternal misery.
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